Chicken.... RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I once read that Chickens out-number humans 10:1. That means that every human can have 10 chickens for dinner tonight! No, my friend, I am afraid that it's not such an easy, short explanation of chickens versus humans. No, no, this is something much more serious than that. The study (which I read about in 2001), stated that there are 10 LIVING chickens for every 1 LIVING human. I don't care about the dead chickens in the freezer; it's the living ones that gives me nightmares.

Imagine you are walking on your Uncle Ted's farm, admiring the scenery, when a chicken suddenly appears at your side, pecking at your toes. "Aw, how cute!" you say. This pecking almost tickles you, but it is a little painful, with just a little blood trickling down your baby toe. You off course find this amusing, as your big brother has always teased you about your toes, saying they look like little worms. You just assume that this chicken is on the same page as your big brother.

You still consider the possibility of your brother (which you were anyway convinced was adopted) being related to this chicken, when all of a sudden nine other chickens attack you! Ten chickens are on you; pecking and scratching you as if their lives depend on it. You want to scream for help, but as you turn around, you see that nine fat chickens and the huge rooster is all over Uncle Ted. And then it is clear to you that your big brother, Billy is not related to the chickens, as he is rolling around on the ground with his share of the world's chickens on him. Your baby cousin, Cynthia is covered in the four-week old chicks, that she was admiring just a moment ago. They are everywhere!!!

Yes! I have seen the future! This is going to happen. What else do you think were they trying to say in the movie, "Chicken Run"? That movie was made to see if anyone would suspect the chickens to do anything hostile. But the most attention that the movie got was good ratings at the box office. The chickens knew they were safe; they could go ahead with phase two of planning.

There are a few things which you can do to avoid this tragic end of the human race.
1. Don't go to uncle Ted's farm 'till you know it's safe.
2. They say, chicken is healthier than red meat, so let's eat more of it.
3. Drink a healthy egg yoke shake each morning while you are frying your (at least 3) eggs.*
4. Lunch would include a chicken schnitzel with a chicken Caesar salad on the side.
5. And, yes, you guessed it; a KFC bucket with 3 extra pieces of chicken for dinner.

(* Fried eggs may be exchanged for omelet or scramble eggs)

No matter where you are in the world, whether it is breakfast, lunch or dinner time; you know what to do!

Good luck!

P.S. If you ever come across a suspicious looking chicken,practice your soccer skills and prepare for the upcoming world-cup later this year, right on my doorstep (South Africa). You can even have a competition to see who's chicken can fly the farthest.